She's ninety and it's hard for her to see. Glaucoma has made her world blurry and the only way she can look at her gossip magazines is with a lighted magnifying glass. The glass can't help her to read though, those days are over.
Her nails bother her and the kids joke that she shouldn't let me near them - I cut everything too short. But she does want me near them and she asks if I will trim them for her. I'm nervous about this, the last thing I want to do is injure her and I don't have my reading glasses with me. I'm at the stage where I can still read my watch and a menu without glasses, but I won't sign a contract without them and I probably shouldn't pull out splinters or go after eyelashes unless they're on. I really should start to carry them with me.
Glasses or no, she wants me to help her, and I can't say no. I pick up her cosmetics bag and find her nail trimmer and nail file. "Do I have an emery board?" she asks doubtfully. Yes, sweetie, I've got it.
I gently pick up one hand and cut the end of the nail, careful not too cut it too short. She tests the length against another finger, then her cheek. "That's perfect." Carefully, slowly, I cut and file the rest of them.
Together we examine the polish and decide her nail color is still pretty - no need to repaint. She feels all of her fingertips one by one and thanks me in a more heartfelt manner than I deserve. This chokes me up a little. Small pleasures. Small gifts. Little things that matter.
At the airport, I am overcome with the same feeling I always get when I leave her. What if this is the last time we see each other? Have I made her feel loved enough? Does she know how much she matters to us?
Cassandre starts to tear up at the airport, looking at a carved stone heart "made in Utah." She wants it to remind her of this trip. To remind her of her great-grandmother. I remind her that she'll be back next month, she'll see her again soon. She nods solemnly and asks me again to please buy her the necklace. She promises to pay me back. (Who could ask for the money?)
At home Cassandre picks up the ancient candlesticks my grandfather sent to my grandmother from England right before he was shot down and killed over Germany in WWII. I am responsible for taking care of these precious memories, but I have not washed them lately and they are tarnished and dirty. Cassandre wants to clean them and together we take them apart, piece by loving piece. We wash and dry each one, noting where the silversmith has encoded "A" "B" "C" and "5" "6" "7" so we know exactly which part goes back where. Soap and water make good progress, but not enough. We buy some polish to bring the shine back.
It makes us feel connected to do this work. Hands on labor to restore some dignity to something so precious. We don't try to make it perfect, just better.
I can't remember the last time it snowed in December in North Carolina...
Well, Aidan and Alanna had their first official "program" at school today. All the four-year-old classes have been practicing some songs, and they all gathered around the altar this afternoon to sing for the parents. It was SO CUTE.
Alanna looked very comfortable up there; she had a big smile and she sang along with everything.
Aidan was doing his best to pretend that this whole program was NOT happening...
It was hysterical. This is how he looked the whole time. He wouldn't make eye contact...refused to hold his bells during :Jingle Bells"...he tried to sit down in the middle, but his teacher got him to stand back up...reluctantly.
Oh, it was just so fun...I loved every minute of it.
Tuesday morning, the kids finally got their chance to see Santa. I can't believe it took me this long...the last several years we saw him in early November at the local shopping center's Christmas kick-off. But I just couldn't bring myself to go there that early this year. So, I suggested to Jason that he meet us at the mall for lunch and a visit with Santa. We only had to wait in line for about 10 minutes, and the kids were all happy to go see him...NOT sit on his lap...just to chat...make their pleas, state their cases, etc. Alanna, of course, said she wanted the American Girl doll named Julie, Aidan asked for a gumball machine, and...so did Emory. That was news to me. She keeps changing what she wants. (Yesterday at school, I was informed that she also wants an American Girl doll. Huh? Well, I hope she likes what Santa brings her...I think he might have the Katz family checked off his list.) Anyhow, the kids were able to pull together enough courage to give Santa a big group hug after we talked to him. No pictures to commemorate this visit with Santa except a couple that I snapped while we waited in line.
Oh well...maybe next year.
Forgive me...I'm not terribly inspired at the moment as our family's 14 year old cat is heading on to heaven as I type this. He has been an awesome cat...really sweet, very good with kids...and such a survivor. He was partially an outdoor cat, and the vet told us long ago that he would likely meet an early demise. Ha... My brother adopted Simba in college (circa 1995), and my parents ended up being his caregivers for most of the last 14 years. Mom, who did not like cats, was none-too-pleased when that "barn animal" came home. But Simba changed that...as anyone who knows my mom would attest...she has been converted to a total cat lover. (and her cats have her well-trained...and they are so smart they've got her fooled into thinking she's the one in charge!)
Anyhow...Simba has been ill for quite some time, and my parents have gone above and beyond the call of duty physically, emotionally, and financially to keep him well. Sadly, they have reached the point where they can't do anything to help sweet Simba get better...and he is not well. They have made the courageous decision to set him free and let his spirit do what his body can no longer. I hope that he will be off and running with Ping and Callaway...and the other beloved pets our family has had the good fortune to know and love.
Sweet dreams, Simba. You are loved, and you will be missed.
I was reminded of this story by Maureen the other day...
We got "Boo'd" this Halloween for the first time, so I had to break open the bags of Halloween candy we had on hand. Up to that point, I had left them closed because once the seal is broken, well...then it's just an open invitation to be eaten. The problem is that this year, the kids, well...Emory...even felt the temptation. I walked upstairs after mopping the floors to play games with Emory, who was "setting things up." I found her in the bathroom with a mouth full of "something" - and it wasn't the gum she was chewing earlier.
ME: What are you chewing?
E: Nothing.
ME: Emory, what's in your mouth? (looking in the trash can, spying
snickers and twix wrappers - not sure if they were Jason's or not)
E: Something healthy
ME: What?
E: Honey Nut Cheerios
ME: Really? Because I was downstairs, and I didn't see you. What are you
eating?
E: Nothing. Just crumbs.
Well after a little chat, and several reassurances that I wouldn't get mad if she ate chocolate, she finally admitted to helping herself to the Halloween candy while I was downstairs. I guess all the raking we had just done depleted her energy, and she needed a boost.
And then there's Alanna. As I mentioned, our Elf, Skippy, arrived the other day. This morning, she expressed some suspicion about this mischievous character. She told me it was funny that he looks like a doll...his face looks so "wooden." Why does she have to catch on to things so quickly? So we talked about the fact that he is magical and you just have to believe. She said she believed, but it was just funny. Later in the day, we were outside with some neighbors, who also have elves. We decided they probably all get together to fly back to the North Pole every night. Then one of them joined us for dinner, and she pointed out that her elf, Love Shanoodle (or something like that), looks EXACTLY like our elf. Go figure. Not exactly helping our cause. Fortunately, her mom piped in with the explanation that they are probably twins. And the other day, Alanna was trying to tell Skippy that she really, really, really, really, really wanted an American Girl doll for Christmas. Aidan and Emory had told him already, and Alanna just stood there looking at him. I told her she had to actually speak to him, and she said "I'm trying, but he's not looking at me...he's looking over there." (I guess we need to teach Skippy some pragmatic skills.) So, I had Alanna move to the area where Skippy's eyes are directed, and she proceeded to tell him about the doll she so very much desires. Then, she walked away with a big smile, looking very satisfied with her efforts. Surely Santa will get the message...guess we're not getting out of this one. Even explaining that it would probably be the ONLY present Santa would bring could not deter her from the American Girl doll, Julie. Crap.
Aidan, on the other hand, has not expressed a heartfelt desire for anything...except a gumball machine. So I'm on the lookout for a mini stocking-stuffer sized gumball machine if anyone around here sees one...lemme know. Or get me one, and I'll reimburse ya! And don't go getting any ideas, people...we do NOT, I repeat, do NOT want a bona-fide gumball machine in this house. I will get pestered every minute and have to get rid of it (in lieu of smashing it into teeny, tiny pieces) anyway. I wish he'd give me some good ideas!!
Oh man...Thanksgiving is really the kickoff of holiday craziness...has it really come and gone already? It was a great day. Jason had to work in the morning, so we missed the neighborhood football game...that was a bummer. But once he got home, we headed to my parents' house for the day. The kids were excited to go to Nana and Grandad's, as always, but they were so excited that it was Thanksgiving, too. Maybe it was the promise of pie that had them all pumped up. It was a fairly quiet day...I got to help with some decorating that required getting up on a ladder, which I always think is kind of fun. I get a whole new perspective getting to be up so high instead of seeing things from 5 feet off the ground. We had lots of yummy food...Doug made a delicious spinach and artichoke dip courtesy of Paula Deen. It was so unhealthy....but MAN it was GOOD! The kids liked it, too...so we snuck in some veggies...yay! (Does it count if it's smothered in mayonnaise, sour cream and whatever else was in there?) Dinner was delicious...Mom made an awesome turkey and we all pitched in to do the sides.
We certainly have a LOT to be thankful for this year...and really every day that passes. We are so blessed with our three beautiful children, loving families, wonderful friends, great neighbors, a new house in a neighborhood filled with young children, good health, and food on our plates every night. What more do we need?
I'm looking forward to the next few weeks of celebration with the kids. The Christmas decorations are slowly making there way out of the attic, and I'm excited to have a nativity scene to put out this year. It's a nice reminder of what the season is really about...for all of us...even the kids. Skippy, our Elf on the Shelf, arrived a few days ago, and the kids are happy that he's back. It's fun to have him as a part of our Christmas tradition, not as a behavior monitor, but as a little piece of the magic and wonder of Santa, right here in our very own home.
This is something I found that Alanna wrote recently...
For anyone who is interested, I've added photos to posts going back to the pumpkin patch, but you may have already seen them on Facebook. :)
Here are some photos from the kids' school Halloween festivities, followed by our neighborhood Halloween party...you may notice some costume changes. I blogged this about 10 minutes ago with much more zest, but it got lost...so for now...just pictures...
